The following is a piece I wrote on Choice Theory after being kicked out of Yampah for failing to attend class. I believe reading Choice Theory was the first step i took in making the decision to turn my life around.
Choice Theory
Choice Theory, to me, is the idea that basically you, and only you, control your own destiny. Every decision you make, every thought you think, every emotion you feel, whether conscious or not, is your choice. Nobody can physically make you do anything you don’t want to do. It is the idea that this world is run through external control and fear and that’s the reason so many people are failing at life. People aren’t meant to be controlled, to live in fear of what will happen if they don’t follow the system. The people don’t need to change, the system does. The system is run by people in a position of power that gives them control over others. Children are brought up by external control through school and parents, and then again by their boss at work and political leaders when they become adults. If more people knew of Choice Theory and practiced it, I believe there would be a lot happier, more efficient and more functional people in our society.
I think choice theory is an excellent concept after reading this book. I didn’t understand a thing about it before, and though it was difficult and not particularly interesting I am happy I was given an opportunity to explore the idea a little more. Over the last two weeks I’ve been through quite a bit, not just being kicked out of school and I think it applies to my life more than I ever realized it could before. I have put quite a bit of thought into my quality world, and although I think there are things in my quality world that I believe I may be better off without, I have noticed myself start to really think about what is in it and what is not and what should be and what should not be. I think there are a few flaws with Choice Theory, such as using it as an excuse to make choices that aren’t the best. For example, making a bad decision and saying “well, it was my choice, and I did what I did”. I feel like people can use the idea of no punishment and no structure to take advantage of a system. The right thing to do, and something I think this book has really made me think about, is to really choose think before you choose to act and to act in a way that you know is in your best interest.
My Quality World is something I’m not sure I have completely refined to fulfill complete happiness. First and Foremost however are my family and the small group of individuals I am so close too, I consider them my family. There happiness brings me happiness and their laughter brings me laughter. They are the people I know have my back and support me and truly care about my well-being 100% of the time. Another thing in my quality world is music. I don’t think I could be happy if music was taken away from me. Fortunately I know it never will be because not only is there almost always a way to listen to music, but even if that were to be taken away I can think about a song from start to finish and be as satisfied as if I had just listened to it. That’s what I had to do during my four days in the department of youth corrections in December. Another thing in my quality world is knowledge and education. I haven’t shown it much this year or any other year in school for that matter, but I do enjoy learning. I know how important a good education is to my future and the next thing in my quality world, the picture of myself owning a small independent retail business somewhere on the beach. I’m not sure what kind of business, or where exactly, but I see myself running it incredibly well and prospering and making incredibly close connections and friendships through the course of it. it would satisfy my need for some, not much, but some power, I think it could also satisfy my needs for freedom in a sense, and it would enable me for survival, and if it happens the way I see it, it would satisfy, at least to an extent, my needs for love and belonging and fun as well. This goal is incredibly important to me, and now that I think and write about it a little more, I see it could almost satisfy every need I have in one picture. I hate to admit it in a school paper, but partying is another picture in my quality world. I believe, when moderated, it fully satisfies my needs for fun and love and belonging. As long as I can learn to balance it and not go overboard, I think it’s an excellent way to satisfy those needs. A long-term girlfriend that I find happiness with, closely connect to, and am strongly sexually attracted to is also in my quality world, which is a picture that was broken over the last two weeks and has made me choose to depress mildly, but the picture wasn’t necessarily of the girl I was with, and this book actually helped me a lot to think about and realize that. Choice Theory helped me cope with that better than I’ve ever managed to deal with a break up. The final picture in my quality world is a strong social life. I enjoy having friends, and though I like to be alone for short periods of time once in a while to think and reflect, or cool off, or a variety of other reasons, I hate longer periods of solitariness. I get lonely and I feel like a start to go crazy. Another thing Choice Theory has helped me with significantly over the last two weeks while I’ve been on home detention for another bad choice I made before I was introduced more in depth to Choice Theory.
I think to make my Quality World I reality, I need a plan to stick to my goals, the motivation to achieve the goals, a good balance between my social life and my work, and the support and love I need from those I am closest too. Dr. Glasser used a word throughout the book, “ganas” which means to have a desire, a physical want, to work hard. I think this is something I need to find more of within myself to make my quality world a reality. I know one of my major problems is that I am incredibly lazy. I have the capability, and the initial motivation to achieve what I want, but I tend to quit when things get harder than I anticipated they would. This is where I need to find the ganas to push myself through and choose to continue to achieve what I really want.
Nobody is responsible for the way my life is except myself, and I honestly do believe that. I have chosen to be lazy, to not go to school, to smoke massive amounts of marijuana, to party way harder than I should be, and not do what I really need to be doing. I have not been happy and doing more to achieve the reality of my quality world is what will make me happy. Not getting high and temporarily forgetting my problems. I think there are times when other people’s choices lead you over all to the choice that you make, but it’s still the choice that you made, Nobody else. I have determined that I make a lot of bad decisions through influence rather than pressure. I’ve never been forced to party or get messed up, but I have been around it enough to the point that I would rather be doing whatever is going on than constantly being asked if I want to or not. At the time I feel like I do, but looking back on it, I often regret it.
In a perfect world, I think everyone would get along, I think everyone would do what is required and more of them and they would do it eagerly in an effort to help and support the community they are a part of. People would make the right choices and decisions and not harm others for reasons that aren’t there or for no reason at all. Unfortunately that will never ever happen (although I think choice theory is a step in the right direction). People come from areas where it is accepted, almost encouraged to kill or be killed basically. Not exactly literally, but that general concept. Violence, abuse, and lack of trust will always exist and a lot of people aren’t given the resources to learn how to avoid or fix it. I wish life could be perfect but that’s not the way life is. It’s not fair, it’s tough, and people will hurt you for pure pleasure and that’s the way it most likely always will be. We live in a world where I feel like complete change is not possible. All we can do is choose to live our own life, and make decisions that we personally feel will benefit us and the people who we want to benefit. For me that would be everyone. I would like to make a difference, to make choices that will benefit everyone, including myself, and I suppose that’s about all I can really do.
Choice Theory, to me, is the idea that basically you, and only you, control your own destiny. Every decision you make, every thought you think, every emotion you feel, whether conscious or not, is your choice. Nobody can physically make you do anything you don’t want to do. It is the idea that this world is run through external control and fear and that’s the reason so many people are failing at life. People aren’t meant to be controlled, to live in fear of what will happen if they don’t follow the system. The people don’t need to change, the system does. The system is run by people in a position of power that gives them control over others. Children are brought up by external control through school and parents, and then again by their boss at work and political leaders when they become adults. If more people knew of Choice Theory and practiced it, I believe there would be a lot happier, more efficient and more functional people in our society.
I think choice theory is an excellent concept after reading this book. I didn’t understand a thing about it before, and though it was difficult and not particularly interesting I am happy I was given an opportunity to explore the idea a little more. Over the last two weeks I’ve been through quite a bit, not just being kicked out of school and I think it applies to my life more than I ever realized it could before. I have put quite a bit of thought into my quality world, and although I think there are things in my quality world that I believe I may be better off without, I have noticed myself start to really think about what is in it and what is not and what should be and what should not be. I think there are a few flaws with Choice Theory, such as using it as an excuse to make choices that aren’t the best. For example, making a bad decision and saying “well, it was my choice, and I did what I did”. I feel like people can use the idea of no punishment and no structure to take advantage of a system. The right thing to do, and something I think this book has really made me think about, is to really choose think before you choose to act and to act in a way that you know is in your best interest.
My Quality World is something I’m not sure I have completely refined to fulfill complete happiness. First and Foremost however are my family and the small group of individuals I am so close too, I consider them my family. There happiness brings me happiness and their laughter brings me laughter. They are the people I know have my back and support me and truly care about my well-being 100% of the time. Another thing in my quality world is music. I don’t think I could be happy if music was taken away from me. Fortunately I know it never will be because not only is there almost always a way to listen to music, but even if that were to be taken away I can think about a song from start to finish and be as satisfied as if I had just listened to it. That’s what I had to do during my four days in the department of youth corrections in December. Another thing in my quality world is knowledge and education. I haven’t shown it much this year or any other year in school for that matter, but I do enjoy learning. I know how important a good education is to my future and the next thing in my quality world, the picture of myself owning a small independent retail business somewhere on the beach. I’m not sure what kind of business, or where exactly, but I see myself running it incredibly well and prospering and making incredibly close connections and friendships through the course of it. it would satisfy my need for some, not much, but some power, I think it could also satisfy my needs for freedom in a sense, and it would enable me for survival, and if it happens the way I see it, it would satisfy, at least to an extent, my needs for love and belonging and fun as well. This goal is incredibly important to me, and now that I think and write about it a little more, I see it could almost satisfy every need I have in one picture. I hate to admit it in a school paper, but partying is another picture in my quality world. I believe, when moderated, it fully satisfies my needs for fun and love and belonging. As long as I can learn to balance it and not go overboard, I think it’s an excellent way to satisfy those needs. A long-term girlfriend that I find happiness with, closely connect to, and am strongly sexually attracted to is also in my quality world, which is a picture that was broken over the last two weeks and has made me choose to depress mildly, but the picture wasn’t necessarily of the girl I was with, and this book actually helped me a lot to think about and realize that. Choice Theory helped me cope with that better than I’ve ever managed to deal with a break up. The final picture in my quality world is a strong social life. I enjoy having friends, and though I like to be alone for short periods of time once in a while to think and reflect, or cool off, or a variety of other reasons, I hate longer periods of solitariness. I get lonely and I feel like a start to go crazy. Another thing Choice Theory has helped me with significantly over the last two weeks while I’ve been on home detention for another bad choice I made before I was introduced more in depth to Choice Theory.
I think to make my Quality World I reality, I need a plan to stick to my goals, the motivation to achieve the goals, a good balance between my social life and my work, and the support and love I need from those I am closest too. Dr. Glasser used a word throughout the book, “ganas” which means to have a desire, a physical want, to work hard. I think this is something I need to find more of within myself to make my quality world a reality. I know one of my major problems is that I am incredibly lazy. I have the capability, and the initial motivation to achieve what I want, but I tend to quit when things get harder than I anticipated they would. This is where I need to find the ganas to push myself through and choose to continue to achieve what I really want.
Nobody is responsible for the way my life is except myself, and I honestly do believe that. I have chosen to be lazy, to not go to school, to smoke massive amounts of marijuana, to party way harder than I should be, and not do what I really need to be doing. I have not been happy and doing more to achieve the reality of my quality world is what will make me happy. Not getting high and temporarily forgetting my problems. I think there are times when other people’s choices lead you over all to the choice that you make, but it’s still the choice that you made, Nobody else. I have determined that I make a lot of bad decisions through influence rather than pressure. I’ve never been forced to party or get messed up, but I have been around it enough to the point that I would rather be doing whatever is going on than constantly being asked if I want to or not. At the time I feel like I do, but looking back on it, I often regret it.
In a perfect world, I think everyone would get along, I think everyone would do what is required and more of them and they would do it eagerly in an effort to help and support the community they are a part of. People would make the right choices and decisions and not harm others for reasons that aren’t there or for no reason at all. Unfortunately that will never ever happen (although I think choice theory is a step in the right direction). People come from areas where it is accepted, almost encouraged to kill or be killed basically. Not exactly literally, but that general concept. Violence, abuse, and lack of trust will always exist and a lot of people aren’t given the resources to learn how to avoid or fix it. I wish life could be perfect but that’s not the way life is. It’s not fair, it’s tough, and people will hurt you for pure pleasure and that’s the way it most likely always will be. We live in a world where I feel like complete change is not possible. All we can do is choose to live our own life, and make decisions that we personally feel will benefit us and the people who we want to benefit. For me that would be everyone. I would like to make a difference, to make choices that will benefit everyone, including myself, and I suppose that’s about all I can really do.